Gamer Perversions: Manual Huffer

I've been slow to warm up to Destructoid's podcast, Podtoid for any number of reasons. I love the blog and most days appreciate its irreverent and caustic take on gaming. The podcast has been a little trickier to enjoy and much of it was based on the first episode I ever listened to. It was their first show following the Game Developers Conference this winter and the hosts were killing me with their in-joke ridden blather. Among the nearly 90 minutes of that episode, probably only 30 minutes of talk was related to gaming news. Talk about losing your focus!

The most recent Podtoid has been a lot more pleasant. The strong opinions, swearing, camaraderie and in-jokes were all there but I this time I actually had fun listening to it. I actually lawled at one point when the hosts went on another tangent and talked about huffing game manuals.

Oh my god, you don't know how much I relate to that. I used to sniff manuals to new games all the time. It was a ritual. I also agree with one of the Podtoid'ers about how manuals nowadays have been losing that special scent they all used to have.

Gamers and non-gamers alike may wonder what the attraction is to smelling the pages of a crisp, new game manual. I would justify it by comparing it to enjoying the smell of a new car or the comforting aroma of fresh, homemade bakery.

I'm curious if the Podtoid cast and I are the only manual huffers out there. Raise your hands out there if you do this too. You know who you are.

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Gears of War: RAAM Killer

The Xbox 360 news is flowin' and I have a stack of stories to publish but I really just want to crow about my Gears of War achievements for this week.

Several weeks ago, Taylor blogged about his Top 10 Xbox 360 Achievements. I don't have anything close to 10 achievements that I find especially noteworthy, just the satisfaction of defeating General RAAM, the end boss of Gears of War on Insane difficulty.

Opinions differ on how difficult it is to beat Insane General RAAM. To put things in perspective, it only took me one or two tries on the two lesser difficulty levels (Casual & Hardcore) to best RAAM. The battle was more of a polite ritual. Truth be told, getting through the various stages on Hardcore was far more challenging than fighting the end boss. And it shouldn't be this way! C'mon, it's the End Boss, the Big Cheese. RAAM crumpled after little more than a handful of shotgun blasts to his ugly mug.

On Insane, my friend and I probably clocked in about twenty attempts, amounting to 60-80 minutes of play time. We cried and cursed. There was much throwing up of our hands and sighing. Then we cursed some more. But we finally pulled through it.

How did we do it? To be frank, I don't think our method can be duplicated with any rate of success. It was just a lot of luck and persistence that got us through. I armed myself with a sniper rifle and shotty, while my friend passed off the shotgun for his trusty Lancer. Upon arrival at the grand showdown, we simply parked our asses at the first block of cover and began pelting away at RAAM's face with sniper fire. As he got closer, we emptied out our supply of grenades on him, to no avail really, since he was protected by the Kryll most of the way.

Then the real fun began. RAAM got to within kissing range and we simply hid. Yes, we stayed cowering behind our cover, which suddenly felt way too small for two fully-armoured manly-men marines. Oh, we also did something else. Blindfire. We blind-fired like there was no tomorrow. Me with the shotgun, and my friend with his Lancer. It was a fantastic game of cat and mouse as RAAM circled around our cover, we quickly hopped over and hunkered back down on the other side. Then we waited for him to point his mottled ol' finger, which signaled the flight of his Kryll entourage, and we unloaded on him. Repeat and rinse. Eventually, the crazy general gave up the ghost and mercifully allowed us to finish our grueling trek through the Insane campaign.

Is this best way to tackle RAAM? Probably not. He would foil our little dance around cover countless times, shooting us while we were halfway over or simply just getting a good angle on us and blowing us away even while we thought we were safely behind cover. Other times, I'd try to cheat and walk around our block of salvation and be torn to bits by the swarm of Kryll. I can't imagine how hard it would be to battle him solo, with the brain-dead AI-controlled Dom watching my back. Uggh.

Well, I just wanted to share that scintillating story with you. I really enjoy the Achievements system for the 360 and beating Gears of War on Insane is the first of my achievements that I am truly proud of.

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PC Gaming Dies Again: Part 2

Last week I put on my pink Pundit Cap (I have a yellow one too!)and discussed the current state (and possible future of) PC gaming. I concluded that the PC games industry will remain the resilient industry that it is, supported by innovative studios, indie developers, a dedicated hardcore audience and a growing mainstream market. The PC has fallen on rough times before but it has always remained the stalwart gaming platform for savvy gamer.

In terms of revenue potential and exposure, however, I'm afraid the consoles still have the upper hand on personal computers. As always, I have a little anecdote that (hopefully) illustrates this reality. Hit the jump for the full goods!

I have been a staunch supporter of PC gaming for years, reveling in the broad variety and innovation that seemed to thrive in the industry during the '80s and '90s. Ironically, I have never owned a cutting-edge gaming rig, always lagging behind the curve by a good two or three years. Despite my hardware deficiencies, there was never a shortage of worthy games to play. When a system-crunching blockbuster came knocking on my door, I only needed a minor upgrade and a few config file tweaks to get up to speed on the latest & greatest.

I'm older now with a lot more money to back my gaming habits, yet on the flip side, I have less time and less patience to deal with all the fringe activities related to PC gaming. Things like installing patches, upgrading hardware and optimizing performance settings are all things that I used to endure as my means to enjoying the best in electronic entertainment. Back in college, I didn't mind troubleshooting my Voodoo video cards or installing a new set of RAM into my aging rig. Nowadays, I can't be bothered. I'm always working out the time/effort ratio of fussing over my PC just so I can play a new game. These days, I just want to plug and play.

I was at an impasse prior to buying my Xbox 360. My current PC was still capable of playing recent titles but it was fast becoming a dinosaur in the face of quad-core processors and physics-processing cards. I knew I could throw wad of cash into upgrades or even a wholesale system replacement but the sensible part of my brain resisted.

"Whoa there, Mac. The computer you have now does everything you really need it to do. You can do your design work, surf the web, get your e-mail and download your pr0n. And now you're considering dropping more than a grand on upgrades just to play the newest games for the next year?"

Ten years ago, that sensible part of my brain would be have smacked down by my gamer's passion. Today, I admit defeat and take the path of least resistance.

In the end, I just want to sit down and get lost inside a great game. Each successive generation of game consoles have brought them closer and closer to the sophistication of PCs, yet still maintaining that ease of use that appeals to not only the "mainstream", but lazy old dogs like me.

Eventually, I will upgrade my PC to keep pace with the next phase of game releases. After all, I will need to play Spore the moment it hits store shelves, whenever the hell that may be. For now, I feel like I've picked a winning horse in the Xbox 360 and plan to use it as my main gaming system for a long time to come.

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Live Worms: The Duel

I was pretty bagged last night but I still "forced" myself to play a round of Live Arcade games, including the very recent Worms HD. I was feeling pretty good about my worming skills and decided to hop onto Live for my first match against some strangers.

I stumbled into a 1-on-1 match. My opponent: Snoopaloop1981. My mission: Kick some worm booty. We said our hellos and my host fired up the randomly generated map. It was a simple layout... relatively flat, rolling terrain and with very few nooks and crannies in which to hide.

I was selected to start things off and surprised myself with an impressively accurate grenade lob. Unfortunately, that would be my last pretty shot for a long time. It became readily apparent that my opponent was a lot more versed in the ways of the worm soldier. Right off the bat, he showed me just how cool and effective the Ninja Rope is, swinging his worm into combat range and dropping off an explosive payload that eliminated the first of my worms from the match. Ninja Rope = Awesome. Duly noted...

As it happens, I was obviously outmatched but the game was not up. That's the charming (and maddening) thing about Worms HD: the tide of battle can change when you least expect it and no matter how dominant you think you are in a match, it can all go to hell at a moment's notice. I held my own against Snoopaloop1981 for several rounds, dreadfully waiting for my inevitable defeat. Then it happened. I suspect my foe got his X and A buttons crossed (see my previous post) and detonated one of his worms into oblivion. Lucky break, I thought, lucky break.

I kept fighting, scoring a couple more decent shots, but still unable to do enough damage to any one worm to take it out of the battle. My luck had definitely run out, or so I thought. Again, the worm gods smiled upon me as my opponent botched a Cluster Bomb attack, dropping the package at his own worm's doorstep and doing himself grave damage.

I made some pretty embarrassing boo-boo's myself. Near the end, too nervous to use the Ninja Rope to Tarzan-swing my way cross the map, I ran out my Jetpack fuel and went crashing to the ground, forfeiting my attack and doing myself unnecessary damage. Another time, I missed a plum point-blank range Bazooka shot.

The match was almost over and Snoopaloop1981 had me dead to rights. Outnumbered 2 worms to 1, I braced myself for the coup de gras. Snoopaloop1981 pulled out his Ninja Rope once again and attempted a very ambitious move. With his supply of dynamite and mines exhausted, he tried blasting me with his Bazooka while still swinging by his rope. That's what it looked like to me, as it happened all too quickly. One moment he was up in the air above my worm, the next moment his worm was dropping to ground, past me and towards his other remaining worm. An explosion erupted between them and both his worms toppled into the newly formed crater. I watched in amazement as his worms did their sayonara self-destruct animations. Victory was mine!

I have to give big credit to Snoopaloop1981 for being a good sport. He must have shot himself in the foot about 4 times during the match and he still kept his cool. He also introduced me to the wonders of the Ninja Rope, which you can be sure I will be using in lieu of the Jetpack and Teleporter for many more situations.

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What Kind of a Badass Was I This Week?

This week I continued my work as an over-sexed, over-powered Agent of justice. Suffering from obsessive-compulsive hallucinations of glowing orbs, I have at once reinforced law and order in Pacific City and blazed a path of wanton destruction through its streets.

I was also the commander of an atomic tank, standing against impossible odds on a 2D landscape all in the name of freedom. Take that, Red menace!

Finally, I became a squad of 4 cuddly, yet terribly violent and well-armed worms. I came, I saw, I had the gale force winds blow my homing missile back into my face.

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Hooked Worms HD, Midnight Release

It's storytime here at PMB...

As is apt to happen, Crackdown kept me up last night much later than I had intended. That's what happens when you've turned "Crime On" and get swept up in orb-hunting, foot races and Rampage sub-achievements.

Later on, some commotion outside drew me to my living room window. I was greeted with a view of an entire fire department brigade parked below my window and billowing black smoke from down the street. The firefighters must have been there for at least half an hour and it took me that long to clue in, such was the extent of my gaming hypnosis.

I watched the scene unfold for a several minutes, then went back to my Crack. Another twenty minutes passed and I checked my window again. Large flames were clearly visible now, licking away at the rooftops of two local businesses. Surprisingly, the firefighters still had not activated the water hose and I wondered what the heck they were waiting for. I later found out they were busy evacuating the tenants from some of the suites in the neighboring apartment complex.

Bored with watching the growing inferno, I wrapped up my Crack session and was about to power off the Box when I remembered to check for the Worms HD download. Bingo, there it was waiting for me in the Marketplace. A quick download and boom, I was ready to play. I sat there at the opening menu and thought, what the hell, I think I'll like this game anyway, so I topped up on my MS points and unlocked the full game before even starting up the Tutorial. This sort of impulse buying is soooo not in my character. What can I say, I was in a strange mood last night.

I'll be back with a fully developed review of Worms once I've spent more time with it. I already breezed through the tutorial, whoring up an easy Achievement. The game looks fantastic with its colourful, crisp graphics and whimsical style. The controls feel very smooth and intuitive as well, so I'm fiending to get more playtime with it...maybe tonight if I'm not too tired after my late movie screening but more likely tomorrow or Friday.

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