2007 Fall Update: What I Want for Christmas

Dear XBOX Santa,

I'm writing to you to let you know what a good boy I've been this year. I know you're a little late with the Fall update and that's okay. I was just maybe hoping to ask you for something special this year.

I've heard about the Xbox Originals program and the new features to browse the friends of my friends and I don't have a problem with you bringing these goodies to all the kids for Christmas this year. I mean, I probably have no more reason to download old Xbox games now that I've already bought Ninja Gaiden and Splinter Cell: Double Agent. I can see how other gamers may have missed out on some older titles and now they can get a chance to play them without going to the store to buy the disc version. I mean, our 20GB hard drives have so much empty space waiting to be filled up, this is the perfect way to do it. Good on you, Santa, for being so smart!

I also would never have thought of the idea to add MySpace and Facebook features to the Xbox Live community. Even though I barely game with, let alone speak with, more than 10 or so people on my friends list, I would love the ability to randomly add their friends to my list and would look forward to not speaking to or gaming with them in the near future.

Besides letting you know how great I think these improvements are for the Fall Update, what I really wanted to ask for Christmas is entirely different. It's almost too small and basic a thing to ask for, I almost feel like I'm insulting you to even bring it up, but I've been really wanting this done for Xbox Live for a very long time. So if you'll just hear me out, I'll go ahead and ask you:

Can you please fix the fucking Xbox Live guide?

Honestly, Santa, what is up with the guide menus? If I get nothing else this Christmas, could you puh-lease recode the Xbox Live guide so that its responsiveness is not directly tied to network performance? When the network is busy or running at less than optimal levels, why does the mere act of opening or closing the guide have to be so torturous? Why in the name of all that is beautiful and pristine must my guide menu freeze in place for several seconds, or even minutes, as it struggles to populate my friends list, or send a message or delete a friend or any number of simple, mundane tasks? Is it too much to ask, oh dear Santa, to maybe code the guide actions separately from the actual function of pulling the data off the network? Xbox Live as a whole is already a fairly impressive feat of software engineering, so do you think you and your tech-minded elves up in the North Pole might be able to implement this very simple improvement?

Oh, Santa, I know I'm sounding like a whiney bitch right now, but I just don't understand what I've done to deserve this. Like I've said, I've been really good boy this year. I bought a lot of your A-list titles, I didn't get my Xbox modded and I dished out my $50 for the privilege of playing online games against immature, foul-mouthed hellions. Against my better judgment, I even bought crap like Perfect Dark Zero and the Vision camera.

I've been a good boy, Santa. Please fix the guide this Christmas. Please don't ever let me see another hanging, empty guide screen that forces me to restart my Xbox. PLEASE.

UPDATE:
The fall update has dropped and I am a satisfied, if not a happy, camper. The dashboard guide is much more responsive now to the point where I'd describe it as zippy. It can still take some time to refresh information on the screen, however, they seem to have largely eliminated the hanging, blank guide screens I've become so familiar with these last few months. Good job, Santa, you done me good this Christmas.